CURRICULUM VITAE


CURRICULUM VITAE


PERSONAL DATA

 Name 

 

Working Experience

Extended working experience

EDUCATION

 Highly educated, a bit of a smart ass if I may say so

SHORT DESCRIPTION

 

  1. PatruBogdan is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%.
  2. PatruBogdan was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.
  3. PatruBogdan was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
  4. PatruBogdan was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us, who have to fight for it.
  5. PatruBogdan’s blood type is WD-40.
  6. PatruBogdan irons his clothes while he’s wearing them.
  7. PatruBogdan is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  8. PatruBogdan is allergic to doorknobs. Thats why he can only kick through doors.
  9. PatruBogdan invented the hammer when he was tired of using his forehead to slam nails into wood.
  10. PatruBogdan was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
  11. PatruBogdan is the only one who can “try this at home.”
  12. A man once claimed PatruBogdan kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false – no one could survive it the first time.
  13. Along with his black belt, PatruBogdan often chooses to wear brown shoes. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.
  14. A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. PatruBogdan, 3. Cancer
  15. PatruBogdan’s dog is trained to pick up its own poop because PatruBogdan will not take crap from anyone.
  16. Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that PatruBogdan is on.
  17. After taking a steroids test doctors informed PatruBogdan that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said “of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?”
  18. For PatruBogdan, every street is “one way”. His way.
  19. For undercover police work, PatruBogdan pins his badge underneath his shirt, directly into his chest.
  20. Every time someone uses the word “intense”, PatruBogdan always replies “you know what else is intense?” followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.
  21. Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of PatruBogdan’s first visit to Tokyo.
  22. Before sliced bread was invented, people used to say “Thats the greatest thing since PatruBogdan”.
  23. Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn’t hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and accidentally ran into PatruBogdan while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.
  24. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered PatruBogdan”
  25. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to PatruBogdan and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  26. Guns don’t kill people. PatruBogdan kills People.
  27. Everybody loves Raymond. Except PatruBogdan.
  28. PatruBogdan became a vegetarian not because he loves animals, but because he hates plants.
  29. He who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at PatruBogdan … dies.
  30. If you Google search “PatruBogdan getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
  31. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is PatruBogdan.
  32. PatruBogdan can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
  33. If, by some incredible space-time paradox, PatruBogdan would ever fight himself, he’d win. Period.
  34. In an emergency, PatruBogdan can be used as a floatation device.
  35. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then PatruBogdan turned that wine into beer.
  36. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects PatruBogdan could use to kill you, including the room itself.
  37. In the Words of Julius Caesar, “Veni, Vidi, Vici, PatruBogdan”. Translation: I came, I saw, and I was roundhouse-kicked in the face by PatruBogdan.
  38. If PatruBogdan wants some shade, he stares the sun down until it eclipses.
  39. If you spell PatruBogdan in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  40. If you ask PatruBogdan what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
  41. If at first you don’t succeed, you must not be PatruBogdan.
  42. In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn’t chasing the jeep. PatruBogdan was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
  43. If you work in an office with PatruBogdan, don’t ask him for his three-hole-punch.
  44. As President Roosevelt said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And PatruBogdan.”
  45. PatruBogdan can predict the shuffle on his iPod.
  46. PatruBogdan and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing their underwear on the outside of their pants.
  47. It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That’s true if you want to call PatruBogdan a giant meteor.
  48. PatruBogdan can kill two stones with one bird.
  49. PatruBogdan can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
  50. Most people know that Descarte said, “I think, therefore I am.” What most people don’t know is that that quote continues, “…afraid of PatruBogdan.”
  51. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. PatruBogdan jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
  52. Love does hurts. But not as much as PatruBogdan.
  53. No matter what your mother always said, PatruBogdan can tune a fish.
  54. PatruBogdan counted to infinity – twice.
  55. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. PatruBogdan can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
  56. PatruBogdan can speak braille.
  57. A picture is worth a thousand words. A PatruBogdan is worth 1 billion words.
  58. Not everyone that PatruBogdan is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
  59. Most people fear the Reaper. PatruBogdan considers him “a promising Rookie”.
  60. PatruBogdan doesn’t have a computer. Just a basement full of Asian kids that memorize numbers.
  61. On a high school math test, PatruBogdan put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because PatruBogdan solves all his problems with Violence.
  62. Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but PatruBogdan beats all 3 at the same time.
  63. PatruBogdan died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell .
  64. PatruBogdan is able to rip a phone book in half with just one hand.
  65. Police label anyone attacking PatruBogdan as a Code 45-11…. a suicide.
  66. Santa Claus actually *did* exist until he accidentally skipped PatruBogdan’s house one Christmas.
  67. Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge PatruBogdan with “obstruction of justice.” This is because even PatruBogdan cannot be in two places at the same time.
  68. Rules of fighting: 1) Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don’t bring a gun to a PatruBogdan fight.
  69. Some people ask for a Kleenex when they sneeze, PatruBogdan asks for a body bag.
  70. Fifty years ago, PatruBogdan accidentally stubbed his toe. The USA still hasn’t fully repaired all of the ensuing damage.
  71. People created the automobile to escape from PatruBogdan…Not to be outdone, PatruBogdan created the automobile accident.
  72. Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. PatruBogdan bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
  73. Once a cobra bit PatruBogdan’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
  74. Simply by pulling on both ends, PatruBogdan can stretch diamonds back into coal.
  75. People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply… PatruBogdan
  76. PatruBogdan can tie his shoes with his feet.
  77. PatruBogdan used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.
  78. PatruBogdan does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. PatruBogdan goes killing.
  79. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears PatruBogdan pajamas.
  80. PatruBogdan sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
  81. PatruBogdan has beat the crap out of so many people over his brilliant life that most medical journals now classify him as a laxative.
  82. The crossing lights in PatruBogdan’s home town say “Die slowly” and “die quickly”. They each have a picture of PatruBogdan punching or kicking a pedestrian.
  83. The easiest way to determine PatruBogdan’s age is to cut him in half and count the rings. Unfortunately, nothing can cut through PatruBogdan.
  84. The Bible was originally titled “PatruBogdan and Friends”
  85. The eternal conundrum “what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object” was finally solved when PatruBogdan punched himself in the face.
  86. Circles exist because PatruBogdan beat the crap out of some squares.
  87. Sweating bullets is literally what happens when PatruBogdan gets too hot.
  88. PatruBogdan’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools PatruBogdan.
  89. PatruBogdan always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.
  90. The First rule of PatruBogdan is: you do not talk about PatruBogdan.
  91. The chief export of PatruBogdan is Pain.
  92. Google won’t search for PatruBogdan because it knows you don’t find PatruBogdan, he finds you.
  93. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless PatruBogdan has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  94. The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball PatruBogdan played in second grade.
  95. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough PatruBogdan to go around.
  96. If PatruBogdan wants your opinion, he’ll beat it into you.
  97. The phrase ‘dead ringer’ refers to someone who sits behind PatruBogdan in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
  98. The United States could save billions in defense funding if they trade the Military for PatruBogdan
  99. The United States Federal Reserve Bank decided that PatruBogdan’s basement was a much safer place for their gold than Fort Knox.
  100. The square root of PatruBogdan is pain. Do not try to square PatruBogdan, the result is death.

FOREIGN LANUAGE

 Can speak fluently in several languages, especially after a few drinks.

  Abilities

 PC operations: Ms Office, Outlook, Internet Explorer, righ click, left click, reading e-mails, receiving e-mails, sending e-mails, turning the computer on and off.

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